In lieu of my normal “review”, Homebody has agreed to interview me about my concert-related thoughts and feelings. You might think this is stupid, but it’s probably going to be better than reading my usual “this was good/this was bad” ramblings. Here we go:
Homebody: What did Yoda say when you asked if we would have a good time at the Ted Leo concert?
M—–l: You can’t start off with a question like that without giving the reader a bit of background. That question won’t make any sense unless they know I have a Talking Yoda that answers yes-or-no questions like a Magic 8 Ball.Talking Yoda is usually right, but he flat-out missed that one.
Homebody: What did you eat for dinner before heading to the Southgate House?
M—–l: That’s kind of a random question isn’t it? I had some sort of fermented tofu product stir fried with broccoli, red peppers, and some other stuff. I made rice to go along with it.
Homebody: It was tempeh. I congratulate you on your courage in tasting it. It’s not completely random, since I once read an interview with him in which he was asked “tempeh or tofu?” and he responded, “today, tempeh.”
M—–l: I don’t know about that. I’m pretty sure I saw Ted Leo eating a Chicken McNugget before the show.
Homebody: No way. Ted Leo’s vegan. So, did you buy any records today?
M—–l: Nope, he was definitely eating a McNugget. See that would’ve been really funny if you’d mentioned that Ted Leo was a vegan before I mentioned the McNugget-thing. That was my big joke for this interview and I blew it too soon. I don’t know what I’m doing. This isn’t working at all. Aren’t you going to ask me something about the concert?
Homebody: Well, that was about the concert. You bought a record there plus two CDs, plus that red vinyl 7″ for me.
M—–l: Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. Yes, I bought two Ted Leo CDs, a Ted Leo LP, and a Ted Leo 7″ for you. It was a pretty good haul. You can’t beat $10 CDs/LPs.
Homebody: It was indeed a good haul. Thank you for single. So, did you buy any other records today?
M—–l: Yes. I bought myself 7″ records by Camera Obscura, Band of Horses, and the Blow. I got a Baxendale 12″. I also bought CDs by the Handsome Family, Jay Farrar, the Minus 5, the Condo Fucks, and Grizzly Bear. Oh, and I finally got Goodnight Oslo. We went into Everybody’s Records for one $6 Kim Taylor EP and I ended up coming out with all that. I dropped +$75 in there.
Homebody: Doesn’t Kim Taylor make fine coffee (in addition to making fine music)?
M—–l: Once again, you’ve failed to give our reader the information necessary to make sense of your question. You need to tell them that Kim Taylor is a local musician who also runs the coffee shop across the street from Everybody’s Records. But, yes, she does make fine coffee. I must admit that I prefer her music, though. The coffee was too hot for me. I guess I thought I was ordering an iced beverage. I’m not a hipster Seattle-ite…I don’t know about these things.
Homebody: I’m not a hipster either, but I have learned the hard way to be careful what I order. I once accidentally ordered a glass of warm milk in Italy, and also a pizza with an egg cooked on top. But anyway, back to the music…how come you were too embarrassed to buy that copy of Laverne and Shirley Sing yourself?
M—–l: I have no idea what you’re talking about. You’d have to be a big weirdo to buy a Laverne & Shirley CD. Shouldn’t we be talking about Ted Leo? You remember him, right? He looks like this:
Homebody: Why do you think Ted Leo cusses so much on stage?
M—–l: What the hell shit damn are you talking about?
Homebody: Did anyone in the audience annoy you?
M—–l: Thank you for asking. Yes, I was extremely annoyed by two people in the audience. The worst person at the Southgate House was the goony kid in the NASA t-shirt. Do you remember him? He tried to get the audience to clap along with him during one of the later songs. Everybody ignored him because he was a goony kid in a NASA t-shirt and because clapping would’ve been totally inappropriate for the song in question. I’m not entirely sure, but I think he was the same guy who yelled at Ted Leo to tune his guitar. Fool.
There was also a man carrying around a camera taking pictures of everything. I wish I could’ve taken a picture of him as he was the most hilarious hipster I’ve ever seen. He had all of the following hipster traits: beard, rat tail, flip flops, nose hoop, and best of all…jeans that were rolled up to an inch or so below his knee. I can almost understand one or two of those, but all five just reeks of desperation.
Homebody: Hey, what’s wrong with jeans rolled up to an inch or so below the knee?
M—–l: Women can get away with that look just fine. This guy couldn’t pull it off, though. He looked like a combination of Huck Finn and that dude from Dexy’s Midnight Runners. It’s like he thought the Ohio River was going to suddenly rise and he’d get his Urban Outfitters jeans all wet.
Homebody: Oh, we still need to discuss the opening band. What did you think of Titus Andronicus?
M—–l: They would’ve been better if their vocalist could sing. I’m glad we left for ice cream. Graeter’s is great. Their strawberry is amazing. Strangely enough, Titus Andronicus sounded much better from the alley than they did when we were in the Southgate House itself. They were too loud.
Homebody: I liked their instrumental melodies and driving energy, but agree that they were way too loud. So, what was up with that warrior squat pose in pilates class?
M—–l: That was a weird pose, but once again, you’re getting off task here. Let’s get back to the concert, please.
Homebody: But I just gave you an opportunity to include a rudimentary drawing in red ink…oh, well.
M—–l: Rudimentary drawings in red ink are so May of 2009. Could we please get back to the concert?
Homebody: Okay. So, who played faster, Ted Leo or James Canty (the other guitar guy)?
M—–l: I have no idea who played faster. I don’t measure that sort of thing. I was too intent upon figuring out a setlist. It’s very difficult because I went into the concert only knowing a total of two Ted Leo songs.
Homebody: As it turns out, I made some song notes myself. Shall we compile our respective lists and offer anyone who is still with us the setlist?
M—–l: Okay, good idea. Here’s my setlist:
Main set: ?/?/?/?/?/Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?/?
Homebody: Here’s mine:
Main set: Little Dawn/Parallel or Together/New Song #1/(gardening banter)/Me & Mia/Army Bound/Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone/New Song #2/Colleen/Annunciation Day-Born on Christmas Day/Counting Down the Hours/New Song #3 “tell the bartender I’m falling in love”/New Song #4 – Where Was My Brain/(less talk more rock banter)/A Bottle of Buckie/Under the Hedge/New Song #5 – Even Heroes Have to Die/The One Who Got Us Out/I Got Your Number (Cock Sparrer cover)/The Crane Takes Flight
Encore (solo): Bleeding Powers/(“bastards believe”)/High Party/Timorous Me (band rejoined)/Shake the Sheets
M—–l: Hmmm. Yours is much more detailed than mine.
Homebody: I’ve listened to a lot of those songs repeatedly. Ted Leo is one of my music heroes.
M—–l: I wouldn’t say he’s one of my heroes yet, but I certainly enjoyed the show and look forward to listening to all my merch table purchases. Having said that, I think we should add my usual concert pictures and call this a post. This took a lot longer than I thought it would.